Girl Forever Gone
by chocolateapples1432
Summary: Based off of the poem. Bella is depressed after the Cullen's left her. She's alone, scared and remembering her past. So she decides to put an end to her pain, by committing suicide. Rated T for suicide, mentioned rape and character death. I don't own Twilight or the poem Girl Forever Gone. Slight Edward bashing.


_Girl forever Gone._

* * *

_Her face is puffy and red, while painful tears stream down her sad face._

_She cries out loudly, hoping someone will hear her silent screams._

_So many voices going through her head,_

_telling her how better she would feel if she were dead._

_She places her shaking hands over her ears, trying not to listen._

_She yells out once again for help, yet no one comes to her rescue._

* * *

Bella had nightmares. Again and again. From when Edward left her to the times she was raped by Phil when she was growing up. Charlie ignores her cries now. She is _alone._

* * *

_She then remains sitting there on her bedroom floor, while the clock ticks by._

_Her body begins to shake uncontrollably, unable to stop it all._

_Starting to realize that no one cares, feeling so alone and helpless._

_She finally comes to the decision that there is only one thing left to do._

_She brings her shaking hands together, closes her eyes and prays._

_She speaks to god one last time and tells him this:_

* * *

She prayed every night for the pain to go away. She wanted God to listen to her cries. To help her. Because isn't that what he's supposed to do?

* * *

_"Lord, I'm so tired and the pain inside doesn't want to go away._

_I can no longer shed anymore tears, for my eyes hurt me really bad._

_The voices in my head don't want to go away._

_My heart aches so bad that it's become too unbearable for me._

_No one loves me, no one cares, no one wants me, and no one can help me now._

_I tried being the good girl everyone wanted, but it wasn't good enough._

_All I wanted was for someone to love me God._

_Was I asking too much?_

_I'm so sorry God but I have to end my suffering the only way I know how._

_Please forgive me God for what I'm about to do."_

* * *

She'd thought about it many times before. But she'd convinced herself otherwise. Because she'd felt she'd had something to live for. Now she wasn't so felt as though her life had run it's course. It was time to go. She wrote a final letter to each person she loved.

* * *

**Dad and Mom-**

**I'm sorry it had to end like this. I'm sorry I'm leaving you both. The pain was to much. By the time you get home I'll be gone. And you can live your lives again. Give the other letters to the Cullen family please. I love you Mom and Dad. And I'm sorry. Be happy.**

**~ Bella.**

* * *

**Alice-**

**You were my best friend. And you left without a goodbye. I need to give you my goodbye. You deserve it. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings when I didn't want to go shopping. Please live a happy life with Jasper. Don't you dare stop shopping! or something... I love you Alice, you're my sister. And you always will be.**

**~ Bella**

* * *

**Esme-**

**You were the mother I never had. And you left me too. Parents don't abandon their children. I can't forgive you, because there is nothing to forgive. I'll always love you, dead or alive. You're still my mom. Don't stop gardening and designing please, it would make me feel like I'm the one causing your sadness, which is true on some academic level. I'm so, so sorry to disappoint you like this.**  
**Goodbye Mommy.**

**~ Bella**

* * *

**Carlisle-**

**My second father. The man who patched me up when I fell down. I'm sorry to disappoint you like this. But it has to end, my pain has to end. It's killing me. Bye Dad. I'm sorry.**

**~ Bella**

* * *

**Emmett-**

**My bear of a brother. I want you to promise me something. When I'm gone, don't stop playing pranks and having fun. For my sake please. Stay happy with Rosalie. I hate to leave you like this.**  
**Try to beat your record of killing 159 bears in three years. If you get to depressed, I swear to God I will come down there myself and kick you sparkly vampire ass.**

**~ Bella**

* * *

**Rosalie-**

**I always considered you a sister. No matter what you thought of me. I'm going to tell you something I'd never told anyone else before. My story is more similar to yours than you think. When you told me what Royce did to you, it struck up old memories for me. I was raped too. I was thirteen when I figured out what was going on. It started when I was six, Phil started touching me. He'd said it was normal, so I went along with it. I didn't know that he was a sick and twisted man. When I was first properly raped I was eight. Mom was going to work and she asked him to watch me. He agreed.**  
**I was sleeping that night when he came to my room. He said for me to stay quiet, touch him, he said it was supposed to happen at my age. To him it was the perfect opportunity for fun. For me it was my own personal hell from age six. I got 'special' education when I was thirteen. That's when I started putting the pieces together. It wasn't normal. It was rape. When I told him I'd figured it out,**  
**he tried to keep me quiet or he'd kill me. He only did it to get rid of me. He only wanted my mother. Not a step-daughter. So now you know. That was basically my own twisted life from six to thirteen.**  
**If the others ask, tell them Rosalie. Please. I love you sis.**

**~ Bella**

* * *

**Edward-**

**I loved you. Don't forget me. Don't even think about becoming depressed and hurting another human or vampire. Because if you do, I will kick your sparkly ass!**  
**I mean it, I do love you. It killed me when you left. Now, I'll be free from all the pain. If you want more details ask Rosalie. I told her my story. Don't get angry at me for not telling you. I was scared you'd leave me. I know it's silly, since you left anyway. The lamb never regretted falling for the lion. Goodbye my love, I'm no longer a puppet in your games.**

**~ Bella**

* * *

**Jasper-**

**It wasn't your fault. Do you hear me!? I don't blame you at all. So if you even think about blaming yourself, I'll make sure Alice and I kick your ass. I love you like a brother, the more mature one, because let's face it, Emmett's a five year old trapped inside a twenty year old man/vampire body. I wish I'd gotten to know you, or at least tried. I'm sorry if I'd ever doubted you, snapped at you for playing with my emotions. I know you wanted to know what sometimes made me depressed all the time. If you want to know, ask Rosalie. Goodbye Major.**

**~ Bella**

* * *

_She opens her eyes for the last time, and quickly grabs for the razor blade._

_She forces the sharp blade against her wrist._

_She starts slitting her veins, deeper and deeper into her flesh._

_The dark blood pours out more and more onto the floor all over._

_Feeling weaker and weaker, becoming more and more unconscious by the seconds,_

_the blade drops from her hand onto that cold floor, her final resting place._

* * *

She let out a small smile as she lay there, slowly dying. She was finally going to be free, she'd finally be happy. Jasper and Alice came and took in her dying form, Jasper knelt beside her and cradled her in his arms dry sobbing, while Alice fell beside him dry sobbing onto his shoulder while they watched Bella's life burn out like a candle. They were angry at Edward for never really caring for her, when the rest of the family loved her.

* * *

_Her cold body now collapses to the floor and she slowly begins to feel the pain fade away along with her soul, finally falling into an endless sleep._

_She lays there dead, yet free of pain._

_It is now quiet, no screams, no tears, no suffering, just utter silence._

* * *

The family read their letters. And each of them were over powered with guilt. But, they moved on, it was one of her final wishes.

Rosalie wished she'd gotten to know her better, tried to talk to her.

Esme wished she'd stayed with her 'daughter' and tried to help her through the pain.

Alice wished she'd never forced her to go shopping and maybe if she and Jasper had came quicker, she wouldn't be dead.

Emmett wished he hadn't left his baby sister and that he could maybe hug her one last time or just see her face.

Carlisle wished he'd never listened to Edward about moving and that he'd shown more love to his 'daughter'

Edward wished he'd killed her sooner.

Jasper wished he'd never lost control and that he could of changed her when she died in his arms.

.

And now Bella Swan watched them from Heaven, hoping her family would move on. But, she was happy. She was happy because, no matter how much she did love Edward, she was no longer a puppet in his cruel games. No longer a love struck puppet. She was finally _free._

* * *

**Authors note: Yeah, kinda the most depressing thing I've written. This poem/story is based off of the poem ''Girl forever gone'' I don't own that story in any way. So don't forget to read and review! **

Source: Girl Forever Gone, Suicide Poem poem/girl-forever-gone#ixzz2YdvMuzHv .com


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